i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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