You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My liver is preforming stress tests.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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