I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
