Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
