Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
