Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize