This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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