You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was confusing and full of hummus
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
