Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
