I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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