I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
