im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
