brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
The air taste purple.
Randomize