yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
