He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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