ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize