btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
