dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
