I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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