Porn is love you can see.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize