Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
