People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have aggressive nipples.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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