I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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