Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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