I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize