I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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