i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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