Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
