In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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