she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
