doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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