Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
