I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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