i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
