Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
