Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
