idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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