Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
