so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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