And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He felt like a one man threesome
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
