we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
