i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
