I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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