thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
