The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
