Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
