Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize