porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
