what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I am midnight drunk by noon
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize