good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize