I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
