How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
