we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
