And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
