She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Is it because I queefed?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize