so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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