We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
