school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
