I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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