I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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