p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
