"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
