He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
