I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
